50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?  Same age as always.  I don't care how old I am, so age does not matter to me.  
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?  Never trying is worse.  Failing is a part of learning process.  I have failed many times in my life, but I never give up.  In fact, never trying is the biggest failure of all.  I would rather fail than to never try.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? It is the fact of life.  We are human beings.  Things do not always end up the way we thought they would be.  Plus...death can strike unexpectedly.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?  Talk is cheap.  Just do it.  Don't get me wrong, it's fun to talk about goals, dreams, future plans, etc.  But, I know I would regret not doing things I would have done.  Life is short, so I gotta shut up and do things I want and need to do.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?  Peace.  Enough said.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?  I would do a lot of traveling because I love to see what is out there.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?  I am doing what I believe in.  I am an IT guy, and I enjoy it.  It is who I am.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?  I would live my life every day, as if it'd be my last.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?  Since when I realized that I was not a kid anymore.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I am more worried about doing the right things.  I make a lot of mistakes in my life, and I have a tendency to stress over whether I'm doing the right things or not.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?  They immediately lose my respect.  However, I would let them know that she is my friend.  If the criticism does not cease, I would excuse myself and leave the area.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?  Be yourself.  Do not let anyone alter your image because if you do, you may not know who you are.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?  I would, as long as it does not endanger others' lives.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?  Sure, I have seen a lot of crazy artworks, but the longer I look at them, the more creativity I discover.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?  I pause TV every 5 minute before I get up and wander around.  No, it does not have to do with ADD/ADHD.  I just hate to sit.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?  Everyone is different.  We see things differently.  It depends on our perception of what makes us happy.  If we are happy for the same reason, there will be an upward curve on our mouths.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? I want to travel around the world.  My frugality is taking over my life and holding me hostage.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?  Not anymore.  My life is too short to hold onto something that is not worth my time.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?  I would definitely move to California because there is a lot of stuff to do.  Beach is pretty much the number one reason why I'd relocate.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?  I hate elevator.  I find it lazy, so I take the stairs.  I don't care how long it takes me to get to my destination.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?  Joyful simpleton!  I worry all the time, and it's not fun.  I came to the realization that life was too short to worry over pointless stuff.  It's best to chill and enjoy life.
22. Why are you, you?  I guess it's just who I am...
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?  Sometimes, I don't play well with others, but I do see the good in people.  I'm a very forgiving guy.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?  Losing touch with a good friend who lives right near me.  
25. What are you most grateful for?  Being surrounded by people who care about me.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I lost most of my old memories due to brain injury three years ago.  Some never returned.  I would rather lose all of my old memories...again.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?  I would rather question everything.  I think it's wise to challenge it first.  Maybe, that's just me.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?  Yes, I let some people down.  I used to be a workaholic, and it took over my life.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?  It's hard to say, but I'm sure I was really upset that time.  No, it doesn't really matter to me anymore.  Past is past.  I don't care.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?  My dad told me that going to a Pitt game (college football) for the first time made me happy.  It was special because that was when I wanted to be a football player.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?  Playing competitive sports.  I get to channel my inner beast.
32. If not now, then when?  Doing what I love.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?  I got nothing to lose.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?  Not yet.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?  Religions should not be involved at all.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?  Perhaps, but the world is not black and white anyway.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?  I would not quit my job.  I did not go to college for nothing.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?  I would rather have more work.  I love staying productive all day.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?  Sure.  I know I'm not the only one who goes through this.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?  Never, but I think I'm too chicken to do that.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?  Not one person.  Just people who mean a lot to me.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?  No, I already accepted the way things were.  Plus, I hate to draw people's attention to me.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?  Being alive is breathing, whereas truly living is making the most of life.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?  Never.  I hate to go out and risk everything.  I abhor impromptu. 
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?  Sometimes, we may repeat mistakes, even after we learn from them.  Suffering the consequences may help us avoid the repetition of the mistakes.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?  I would speak my mind.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?  No clue, but I should do that right now since I'm always under stress.
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?  I love running and staying in shape.  I don't know, if my recent actions expressed any love...
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?  I hope so.  But, if those days are worth remembering, then I should be able to remember what I did.
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?  Sadly, I allow others make decisions for me.  But...from now on, I will start making my own decisions independently.

Credit to http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/

100 Facts About Myself

My buddy told me I should do this, so people especially me can get to know myself better. Some of them are intriguing, irrelevant, fun, or shocking. Of course, I had some help from others since I was unable to remember everything. Here goes.

1. I'm the youngest of four kids (two older brothers and one older sister).
2. I'm the tallest in my family. I stand at least 6'4" tall.
3. I was born and raised here in Pennsylvania. I live here all of my life.
4. My birthday is on January 29th.
5. My eyes are very blue.
6. My middle name is Marshall.
7. One of my friends only calls me Spunky. When it's a serious matter, she would usually address me by my first name.
8. I introduced my brother to his wife. I first met her at work, and I almost asked her out, but instead I let my bro have her. She and I are very good friends.
9. I'm very athletic. I played a lot of sports such as football, baseball, track, and soccer.
10. I was considered a jock in high school.
11. My favorite college sport teams are Pitt Panthers and USC Trojans. 
12. I'm a nearly life-long subscriber to Sports Illustrated.
13. I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.
14. I suffered brain injury in August 2011 due to cardiac arrest.
15. I'm a Jeep guy. I currently own a black Jeep Commander 2010.
16. My very first vehicle was a dark blue 1998 Jeep Cherokee XJ Sport. 
17. I have an unhealthy tendency to over think and worry too much.
18. I used to have a headache every Monday. I still get it sometimes.
19. I was in a bad car accident when I was going home from Ohio in August 2009. It left me a mild hearing loss.
20. I'm a very competitive guy. I hate losing.
21. I love to exercise especially running.
22. I enjoy drawing. 
23. I'm learning to draw graffiti.
24. My favorite clothing brands are Ecko Unlimited, Aeropostale, and Under Armour.
25. Even though I'm a right-handed guy, I shoot pool left handed. Occasionally, I have to play right handed in front of people.
26. I talk too much.
27. I rarely eat junk food. I'm a health food freak.
28. I love Mexican food.
29. I have a ridiculous love of spicy foods.
30. The first time I got drunk was when I was approximately five or six. I accidentally drank half a jug of wine in the basement.
31. When I was a kid, I used to run around in my Batman costume outside. It wasn't even Halloween.
32. I love movies, and I have a huge DVD collection.
33. My favorite actor is Jim Carrey. 
34. My favorite actress is Jamie Lee Curtis.
35. My all-time favorite movie is Dumb and Dumber.
36. My favorite TV show characters are Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy and Seeley Booth from Bones.
37. People who watch Bones have told me that Seeley Booth reminds them of myself.
38. My first R-rated movie was Halloween. I was five then.
39. I'd like to own a sport bike someday.
40. I rarely get sick, so I must have a strong immune system.
41. I hate sleeping. I like to wake up early.
42. I have two tattoos. One (Nick) is on my left rib, and one (gecko) is on my bottom right leg. I'm considering getting a third one. Probably on my forearm.
43. I personally prefer ocean over swimming pools.
44. I'm often unintentionally funny and goofy.
45. I wear a size 14 shoe.
46. Originally, my parents were going to name me Michael Anthony, but they changed their minds at the last minute.
47. I talk to myself a lot when no one is around.
48. I used to be a party animal.
49. Once I beat up my friend's abusive boyfriend, and it almost landed me in jail for it. The guy was bigger than me.
50. I was engaged once.
51. I have a six-year-old son named Jason who lives in Arizona. His mom was my first love.
52. I've known my first love since we were two. Our relationship is like a roller coaster, but we're civil.
53. Women with long legs and blue eyes drive me wild.
54. I never understand women. I wish they come with a manual even though I hate reading instructions.
55. I'm a very forgiving guy. I don't hold grudges.
56. I don't believe in religion.
57. I love walking around the house shirtless in my boxers when no one is around.
58. My biggest driving pet peeve is people who don't use their turn signals.
59. I always park far away from my destination because I like to walk.
60. Back in 90s, my first celebrity crush was Britney Spears since my sister started listening to her songs.
61. I personally don't find red head women attractive. However, I always think Lily from How I Met Your Mother is pretty, so she's an exception.
62. I almost never use instructions.
63. I enjoy watching the sunset especially on the beach as well as full moon.
64. I can't wear pants or jeans without belt.
65. I ask too many questions even irrelevant ones.
66. I strongly hate country music, but I actually like Johnny Cash's music. He's different.
67. My oldest brother is the reason I love heavy metal.
68. My favorite holidays are Halloween and Christmas.
69. I often scream, yell, and curse at my TV while watching sports and playing video games.
70. The only comic books I read are Batman, Archie, and Calvin and Hobbes.
71. I'm a huge Batman fan.
72. Seeing women cry in front of me makes me uncomfortable.
73. I want a German Shepherd dog. If it's a boy, I would name him Taz. Girl? Molly.
74. I always want to take a road trip along the Pacific Coast Highway. I'd love to see Big Sur.
75. I hate sweets such as cake.
76. The only candy I eat is Peanut M&M's.
77. I'm a neat freak.
78. I can't sit through an entire movie. I would pause it many times and move around.
79. I have a fear of losing loved ones to death.
80. I had dealt with near-death experience before.
81. I'm man enough to admit that I love baking cookies, especially around Christmas time.
82. I prefer to cook than throwing a TV dinner into the microwave.
83. I took an acting class, but it didn't last very long.
84. Growing up, I used to dream of becoming a professional football player and actor.
85. I'm a Computer Engineer. It pays well, and I enjoy fixing things.
86. People such as friends and family rely on me for computer support. It's great to feel needed. I fix their PC problems for free.
87. I hate hospitals. I've been there more times than I can count.
88. I love traveling by plane. I enjoy the view and the feeling of being in the air.
89. I still have Playstation 1, Nintendo 64, and Playstation 2. I don't play them that much, but I already have my PS3.
90. I rarely read books, but I try to. I always read newspaper every day though.
91. I prefer to watch Retro movies from the 80s and 90s than today's films.
92. Anger and anxiety always get the best of me. I had punched the wall before. In order to avoid that, I use a punching bag as an anger and anxiety venting tool. It helps a lot.
93. I have a scar on my chest from heart surgery.
94. I have a friend who lives in Los Angeles.
95. I used to be a social smoker, but I stopped due to my heart condition.
96. I have two nieces and one something on the way.
97. When I was little, I was unable to pronounce my sister's name, Julia. We started calling her Julie or Jules.
98. My best friend of 26 years, Stu, was killed by a drunk driver last year.
99. Sometimes, I like to be alone, but I enjoy having friends over my place. I would order some food, have a few brews, and play poker, more like chill time.
100. I'm usually not a lovey dovey type of mushy guy; therefore, I have a funny way of showing my love.

Life in the Slow Lane

It has been almost a year since I suffered from a life-changing brain injury. I still have a long, hard road ahead of me. In an instant, this brain injury threw my life into a tailspin. I spend exacerbating obstacles that befall me. My journey down this unknown road began on August 2011 following cardiac arrest due to heart condition. I suffered physical and mental symptoms: poor self perception, a short term and long term memory loss, slow information processing, confusion, headache, difficulty with self-control, and lack of impulse control. My memories had been erased like chalk on a blackboard of my mind. At least not everything was erased. However, thanks to my treatment, my memories are coming back to me. The fog began to lift. Things are starting to make sense to me. As for other symptoms, I'm actually getting better because of therapy. I was often reminded that I could not put a band-aid on my brain. If it was external, I could. If it was internal, I could not. Once I suffered a brain damage, there was a long road to recovery. It was a slow and difficult rehabilitation process for me, but by the motivation given me by my family and friends, I kept going.

Ever since my brain injury, I was no longer my "old self," meaning I wasn't the same guy people once knew. Basically, my "new self" has replaced my "old self." It seemed to me that the real world had changed because I saw the world through a new self. While people have a hard time accepting the fact that old Nick was dead, they refer to me as new Nick. I don't think myself of a new guy. I do everything humanly possible to be my 'old' self again because I believe old me is still hiding somewhere within me, waiting to reappear. It's a working progress. I can feel parts of my old self coming back, but in a gradual process. I believe old Nick is on an indefinite hiatus.

 

One of the biggest obstacles I face is memory impairment. At first, I couldn't remember anything at all. I had a little bit trouble with long-term memory, but it finally came back. Unfortunately, my short-term memory is "on and off." I forget things a lot. I have to write everything down in order not to forget things. For instance, I write a journal every day, and it's extremely helpful to me. Also, I use a reminder application in my iPhone daily in case I forget to do important stuff such as taking a prescription medicine. I often make a "to do" list for myself, which makes my day less difficult. Though, it is frustrating and makes me look dumb. I know for the fact that there are some things that make my memory problems worse. Whenever the strong emotions such as anger or anxiety get the best of me, I forget some things. The same goes for lack of sleep. I have often been told to go to sleep or not to stay up late. I personally hate sleeping, hence why I like to wake up early on weekends. I have to get up early for work, too. I can't say that there is an easy way to stop memory impairment. This is something I have to live with for rest of my life.

I had a much too close brush with death that day. It was an eye opener. I really thought it was my time to go. Though, I faced near death experience twice. My best friend, Stu, was killed by a drunk driver last year. He was only 28 years old. Life is very, very short. I have to make the most of it and live every day like it is my last. I have to keep moving forward without looking back. I gotta take chances and live life on the edge. There is so much I want to do and so many places I want to go. No wonder, I'm always impatient, but I'm often reminded that waiting builds character. I knew I made stupid mistakes in the past, and there was nothing I could change the past. Right now, I have a chance to strive to make up for my mistakes. I lost a great girl whom I still love a lot, but I hope she'll take me back. I used to wonder why I was still here. In closing, I am lucky to still be here and to have people that care a lot about me.

This video plays the song, "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

My Dad, My Superhero

A true hero doesn’t need super powers to save lives. My dad is my hero. He is Batman, John McClane, Tim Taylor, and Aristotle, all rolled into one. He is a lot of things though. I’ve shared the same qualities and characteristics with him. People always tell me that I look a lot like my dad – tall, light brown hair, blue eyes, and handsome. He knows me better than anyone else does, like he can read my mind. Simply, he’s a huge influence in my life.

When I was a kid, I always watched Batman. He was my all-time favorite action figure, and he still is. He also reminds me of my dad because they both are fearless, robust, intelligent, and protective. And they don't have super powers. It’s cool to have a Batman in my life. Every time I watch the movie called Die Hard, I think of my dad because of the iconic action hero, John McClane. Why? They share some similar traits – stubborn as hell, can turn on the charm, hate technology, and sarcastic. No wonder, my dad loves this movie. Also, my family and I always watch the show called Home Improvement. My dad is a lot like Tim Taylor when it comes to being a handyman, sports fanatic, and great father figure, doing things the man’s way, and a great sense of humor. Unlike Tim Taylor, my dad understands philosophy very well. He is like Aristotle because he always delivers philosophical musings and great advice about anything.

My dad is a kind of guy who would gregariously engage in conversation with strangers. He's honest, blunt, straightforward, and direct. Basically, he's not afraid to speak his mind. That's why he is always the first person I go up to when I need him. When brain injury threw my life into a tailspin, he was there every step of the way. He and my family motivated me to continue on. They didn't give up on me when my memories (at least not all) had been erased like chalk on blackboard of my mind.

"Life is short, Nick," my dad would always say to me. Every time he says it, it helps me remember how short life really is and that I should simply enjoy it. One life, one chance. He always gives me a lot of great advice. He offers words of wit and wisdom. Just about anything - life, relationship, parenting, job, etc. I learn something new from him every day of my life.

The Wit and Wisdom of Homer J. Simpson

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England! - Homer J. Simpson

As a die-hard fan of the Simpsons, I always enjoy the great sayings from Homer. I usually overlook entertaining insights he instructs because it teaches me a lot about life. I do have a lot of my favorite Homer quotes, but I'm not going to list them all.

                                                                   Life

1. "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."

2. "If something's hard to do, it's not worth doing."

3. "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!"

4. "Being popular is the most important thing in the world."

5. "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

                                                                Parenting

1. "Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids."

2. “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”

3. “Kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the internet and all.”

4.  “When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.”
 

5.  “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”

                                                                 Alcohol

1. "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"

2. "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs."

3. “Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.”

4. “Homer no function beer well without.”

5. “When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!”

                                                                 Love and Women

1.  "Love isn't hopeless. Look, maybe I'm no expert on the subject, but there was one time I got it right."

2. "You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons."

3. Homer: "See, even when you yell at me I can see love in YOUR eyes."

    Marge: "Stick to the subject."

    Homer: "Haha, you love me!"

4. "From now on I'll never leave the room without saying how much I love you and...this takes a long time. Maybe a pat on your but will do...[pat] that's it."

5. "I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!"

6. "A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one."

First Blog

I'm not sure where to start. I mean, this is my first time writing a blog post. Honestly, I'm not used to blogging, but my friend recommended me to do this. I write a daily journal in order to improve my memory. I have an impaired short-term memory loss due to brain injury I suffered several months ago. Well, if I don't want to forget things, journal is the only way. I'm going to give blogging a swirl and see if it's better than writing by hand.

- Nick