English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England! - Homer J. Simpson
As a die-hard fan of the Simpsons, I always enjoy the great sayings from Homer. I usually overlook entertaining insights he instructs because it teaches me a lot about life. I do have a lot of my favorite Homer quotes, but I'm not going to list them all.
Life
1. "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
2. "If something's hard to do, it's not worth doing."
3. "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!"
4. "Being popular is the most important thing in the world."
5. "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
Parenting
1. "Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids."
2. “Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important
to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.”
3. “Kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and
they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the
internet and all.”
4. “When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.”
5. “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
Alcohol
1. "To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"
2. "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs."
3. “Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.”
4. “Homer no function beer well without.”
5. “When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!”
Love and Women
1. "Love isn't hopeless. Look, maybe I'm no expert on the subject, but there was one time I got it right."
2. "You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons."
3. Homer: "See, even when you yell at me I can see love in YOUR eyes."
Marge: "Stick to the subject."
Homer: "Haha, you love me!"
4. "From now on I'll never leave the room without saying how much I love you and...this takes a long time. Maybe a pat on your but will do...[pat] that's it."
5. "I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!"
6. "A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one."
6. "A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one."
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